Lindsay Lohan SPEAKS: Dina Was Sober! Michael Is SHAMEFUL!

This is… you know what? We’re actually at a loss for words!

Moments ago, Lindsay Lohan did something we thought she would never do. In light of her recent drama with her mother Dina Lohan, and all of the wild speculations as of late, Lindsay decided to defend herself today.

Christian LaBella, from congressional ‘front desk guy’ to Lindsay Lohan antagonist

A low-level Hill staffer learned two important lessons this weekend:

1. Your new celebrity friends will not be pleased if they think you’re covertly taking photos of them to show off to your non-celebrity friends.

2. No matter how lowly, your status as a Hill staffer will amplify the scandal if you get in trouble, and the boss will hear about it.